Frequently
Asked Questions

Mediation helps people talk to another productively about the key issues. Some people reach out to a mediator when they find themselves at an impasse, unable to speak productively with one another. Others realize that it may be better to get a jump on the thorny issues long before they create an impasse. Either way, we help parties have the difficult conversations that they are unable to have by themselves. The statutory confidentiality built into mediation gives participants the comfort of knowing they can be honest, without fear of their words being used against them. Moreover, the mediator facilitates, but never advises.

A transformative mediator enables the parties to engage in deep and meaningful dialogues. The mediator will be listening and reflecting back what they heard, without personal judgment, without characterization and without giving advice. The mediator enables the parties to understand themselves and each other better. 
Most other types of mediators are focused on creating a path to settlement.  Factors such as whether the parties understand each other, how the parties feel after settlement, and the impact of settlement on the relationships are largely irrelevant, unless they further the goal of settlement. Their goal is to help the parties, using whatever means they deem necessary, to achieve what they came for: a written agreement resolving the dispute.
Now, this is not to say that one type of mediation is better than the other. If other types of mediation are like surgery that seeks to resolve the problem for good, transformative mediation is like developing a healthier lifestyle that is focused on improving your health and well-being. Both types of mediation have their own place to help parties with their disputes.

Many lawsuits could be avoided if people had the ability to be reasonable and talk to each other productively. After all, most cases do not go to trial because the parties end up settling their case. Many parties end up getting less or paying more than if they had resolved the case before the lawsuit was filed. But being reasonable can be impossible if the other person isn’t willing to listen and understand. 

At Conflicts Transformed, we help parties communicate and create understanding, which often leads to parties willing to be more reasonable. In some cases, parties are even willing to collaborate to find a win-win solution.  But that shift would not have happened had the parties not gone through the necessary steps of speaking with each other in the mediation.

Often the ones we can least tolerate are in our family. And when we find ourselves at odds or in litigation with them, whatever goodwill there may have existed is washed away. It’s no wonder people refuse to talk to one another in family disputes.
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If there is ever a chance of finding common ground or creating any level of mutual understanding, mediation with Conflicts Transformed is that one chance. During the mediation, you will be able to talk with this person with third-party facilitation and get the help you need to ensure that the parties are listening to each other.  The unfortunate reality is that you will be dealing with this person throughout the lawsuit, and perhaps throughout your lifetime. By going through our mediation process, you may be surprised at what you learn about yourself, the other person and why the relationship is the way it is. 

Please note that if there are any concerns about one of the parties becoming physically violent or verbally abusive, we will only allow that person to participate via video conferencing to ensure the safety and well-being of all other parties. 

Something truly magical happens when a skilled transformative mediator helps people talk to one another: people stop seeing the other person as an adversary and, open their eyes to seeing the human being sitting across from them who has their own reasons and rationale for their actions.  It may take some time to get there, but people usually do. This shift in perspectives does not happen when people are sitting in their own rooms, never coming face to face with one another. 

At Conflicts Transformed, we help parties work through the uncomfortable conversations that have been preventing people from understanding one another and potentially collaborating. As the parties gain confidence about the benefits of both speaking and listening, the parties learn how to relate to each other in more productive ways.

Often, the parties are concerned that the dialogue will fail due to personality clashes. In our experience, the mediation process itself tends to level out the playing field. Over time, people who are overbearing tend to realize that they are repeating themselves, causing them to listen more. The quiet people are given the space to express their thoughts and perspectives. Subtle clues, such as different breathing patterns, shifting body language, or tonality, provide insight for the mediator to shift the dialogue as necessary.

In nearly all cases, the open dialogue helps participants become more understanding of one another’s position, often leading to discovery of the real obstacles to resolving the dispute.

Absolutely! Regardless of whether a party is a plaintiff or defendant, going through the litigation process in courts can be a difficult and even traumatic experience. People often look to lawyers as weapons who can punish the other side. Parties end up paying not only the sky-rocketing fees for their counsel, they also bear the personal and emotional consequences of being dragged through litigation, regardless of which side they are on.

By participating in our mediation program, the parties can themselves begin narrowing what they want from the dispute, making their demands more reasonable and reducing the gap between what each party wants. Our process reduces the misunderstandings between parties that often contributes to higher litigation costs and higher risk for both parties.  

Yes! Our mediations can go forward even if all the parties are not willing to participate. It’s one of the many benefits of our mediation process. Normally, mediation cannot go forward because any settlement reached would not be upheld if one party was absent. That concern does not apply to mediations conducted by Conflicts Transformed, as we seek to create empowerment and understanding between the parties that do participate. Though not preferable, our process keeps the door open for the absent party to join later on.

Yes, absolutely!  Because transformative mediation is designed to help the parties talk to one another, not to settle the case, parties often benefit from having a transformative mediation session before a session with a mediator who is a subject matter expert or former judicial officer.

Whether before going to other mediators, or after meeting with them, we can help the parties address the unspoken issues so that they can be better positioned to negotiate a win-win business solution.